Stress Upon Stress

I'm slowly realizing how stressed out I will be while Josh is gone. I got a slight glimpse of it today.

It hit me today that I will need a babysitter for my drill weekends while Josh is gone. Surprisingly, babysitters don't just pop up out of the blue like magic. If only it were that easy.

I have what I like to call "first time mom paranoia." I don't like leaving Hailey with people I don't know. I don't even really like leaving her with family (the few times we've had the opportunity to do so). Whenever we leave Hailey with someone, I try to remember something a friend of mine told me. "She may not be taken care of exactly the way you would take care of her, but she'll still be alive when you pick her up." It's good advice, but it's hard to remember sometimes. I think picking a babysitter for these weekends will probably be one of the hardest things to do. How do you decide who you think is trustworthy enough to watch your kid for you!? While Josh is gone, I plan on getting a job and putting Hailey in the CDC, so hopefully this change will make me more open to leaving Hailey with new people, and make it easier.

Since we live so far away from the base I need to go to for drill, I am entitled to 2 free hotel nights (the Friday night before drill, and the Saturday night of drill). So I have to make a decision - do I want to stay at home on drill weekends and drive to Denver 2 days in a row every month, or do I want to bring Hailey with me to my drill weekends, and just stay in the hotel with her? I talked to the SMSgt in charge of booking the hotel rooms, and he told me that if I want to stay with Hailey in the room, I need to get a letter from my commander explaining the circumstances, and he will be sure that I get a room to myself every drill weekend.

These may seem like small things, but for me, they're quite stressful.